The last time I blogged about a boy I got a pretty tough comment. And it fits just right for this blog.
To quote the comment, reader Karen says,
“I hope it works for you, but honestly it sounds so far fetched. Best of luck to you. Almost living in another world…”
That was in response to my turning down of Mr. Breakfast man (It’s Raining Men, Aug 4) just a few months ago.
What she’s also talking about besides my decision to not go on a date with that guy is my decision to give God my romantic life and trust that He will work it out to the best possible outcome imaginable.
Maybe it is another world I’m living in. It does seem like such a foreign concept to give God such control in my life. But I’m so thankful I did! The journey is bringing me closer to God with every passing moment.
Let’s talk a little bit about how we got here. More than a year an a half ago I got dumped. We’ve all been there, it’s not fun, but it happens. And when it did, I decided again – that God was going to have to take control of this whole thing. But this time I really meant it and I took steps to really surrender control. I gave God every little detail of my romantic life. God was going to have to deal with it. I was done. I wasn’t looking, I wasn’t going online, I wasn’t going to just date any guy who came along. I would wait for God to bring someone into my life, if He chose to. (I guess I assumed I would just know when this happened).
But it’s a desire of mine and I’ve consistently let God know that. I tell God over and over, ask Him nicely and expectantly, where is my mate? Can he come soon? And I also told God that if He could use me best single, I would stay single. I don’t want to, but I will. Because I love God so much and I trust that He has the best for me.
Since I gave it to God, I haven’t been dwelling on this aspect of my life. I have my moments, but it hasn’t been consuming – or even too heavy to handle. It’s a desire I believe God will fulfill. And it set me free. Giving that over to God has given me the freedom to live my life. It’s given me the freedom to follow Him and His path, I’m not always looking around, checking to see what I need to do to make it happen. I’m free to be me and hang out with God.
I think God gives us big gifts when we make big decisions for Him. My gift in this situation is a friend who made the same commitment. We came to the decision on our own and then took the journey together. We pray for each other a lot. We have this connection that can only come from God. I know when I’m having a tough day, when I think all hope is gone, when I just can’t see past my circumstances, I can ask her for prayer and God just breaks through – reminds me of His promises and revitalizes that hope that He’s taking care of things.
My life is constantly changing for the better. God is breaking in with new hopes and desires, He’s fulfilling promises and dreams that I thought I had to let go of. And as I grow closer to Him and His love I just want Him more.